Thursday, April 19, 2007

It is a truth universally acknowledged

that no one can resist misquoting Jane Austen--or rather the sentence I just misquoted. The rest of her wit seems to be reserved for quoting by the Janeites among us. (I plead guilty, happily.) But apparently anyone can quote that opening sentence of Pride and Prejudice. I was curious, so I did a search to see exactly which misquotes were out there. There were "about 59,000" results. Obviously many of these were directly Austen related and were in fact the original, correct quote. But certainly not all of them. A small sampling from the first ten pages of results. Further than that I dare not go.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."
~Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a passport is in want of a good exchange rate. Link.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that cats make some people sick. Link.

It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a pure-blood, a half-blood, and a muggle born have absolutely nothing in common. Link.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a presidential candidate with a good chance of winning must be in want of a Treasury Secretary. Link.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the short story is a genre in want of an audience. Link.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that nothing is more likely to strike fear and xenophobia into the heart of an English person than a national treasure being appropriated by an American. Link.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that before Miss Jane Austen received universal acclaim for inventing the game of "American Football," she wrote several popular soap operas and romantic diversions, including "Black People LIVE," "Sense and Away," "Mansfield Enders," "Emmas-Dale," and "Northanger Dallas." [This is my favorite--from the Jane Austen article on Unencyclopedia.] Link.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Rupert Murdoch is scum. Link.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that there is too much international cricket. Link.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that an accountant in possession of a good fortune, wants nothing to do with the sales department.” Link.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that it is impossible to watch Saruman's balcony scene in the film of Two Towers without having Evita flashbacks. [This gets the prize for being able to squeeze the most allusions into a single sentence. Wow.] Link.


It is a truth universally acknowledged that a radical woman of color in possession of a microphone is a revolution waiting to happen. Link.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a new religion in possession of a good number of martyrs ready to die for it must be in want of a full holiday schedule. [This may take the prize for just plain weirdest.] Link.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that if there are any loopholes in the laws of a game, players will locate and exploit them. [This is from the author of the other cricket article. He must be a Friend of Jane, to borrow AustenBlog's sobriquet.] Link.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that since certain international companies started using global liquidity management services, life has been looking up for the US dollar. Link.

If you know of any others you would like to see included, send them my way!

1 comment:

Katie said...

That's great Maureen!!! Some of those are hilarious!