I haven't posted very much lately. Somehow I've been feeling dry, thoughtless--not in the usual sense of the word but in the literal one, without thoughts. I read what others say so well and think, "Yes! Me too!" But sometimes it seems like that's all I have to add.

It's been hot the last few days, which hasn't helped. And I've had some hard news--two deaths in the extended church family--and some difficult news--the job I thought I had may not be mine after all (Elizabeth, it sounds like we had somewhat similar experiences).

So, I'm reflecting. On the one hand, I feel duty bound to write something. On the other...how to write when you have nothing to say?

Bits and pieces

Still no job although a few possible leads have turned up.

Yesterday was hot so I came up with a cool menu: green salad, pasta salad with onion, garlic, red pepper, broccoli, zucchini, and chicken marinated in soy sauce and peanut butter.

Tongiht I'm going to the church to help make chocolate chip cookies for a bake sale they're putting on this weekend. There's an art festival on one of the nearby streets that it's meant to coincide with.

Of happiness and joy

Rebecca wrote about Pursuing happyness the other day. It got me thinking about happiness versus joy. I've grown up in a church that distinguishes between the two. Happiness is an ice cream cone on a hot summer day. Joy is a spiritual emotion--not even an emotion really. A gift. One of God's graces which we never deserve but which he gives us anyway.

Happiness is transitory. It's great while it lasts, but when you're done with the ice cream cone, you're done with the ice cream cone. That's it. No more. Oh, sure, you could get another ice cream cone, but sooner or later you would run out of ice cream or cones. And you'd probably be sick to your stomach.

Joy, on the other hand, may leave you, but it is a reaching into eternity. It's quiet, reaching into the corners of your heart and filling them with something both heady and sobering. And joy comes regardless of the circumstances. I believe that it is one of the marks of a great Christian that they carry joy and peace in their heart no matter what the outward aspects of their life. I know that's challenging. Believe me, I fail every day.

Happiness is great. But you can find it anywhere. Books make me happy. Cooking makes me happy. Chocolate makes me happy. Dogs sitting on my lap (nice, small dogs, that is) make me happy.

But joy? I can only find joy with God. So I'll seek joy.

Reappearing

Well, here I am! I arrived late last Wednesday and immediately went haring off to a wedding in New York state. The wedding was beautiful and we saw many old friends there. It was nice to be a part of two lovely people's special day. We had a nice drive too, going the back way on the way there.

Haven't found a job yet. Hopefully something will come along. In the meantime I'm reading fluffy books and doing some embroidery. Maybe after all of my excitement and dashing hither and yon a time of rest will be good for me.

Update

SO. Tomorrow I head off to the land of corn and soybeans, aka Indiana (INDIANA CORN! I can hardly wait!). I'm working on packing and getting last minute things done today. Of course I got distracted by an excellent book, The Gurus, the Young Man, and Elder Paisios, which I've spent a good part of the morning reading.

Refocusing

I've been re-reading the archives here for the past day or so, in connection with a project which will eventually be revealed. It struck me how much enthusiasm I had when I first started this blog. How much I posted.

So. I'm trying to refocus. Trying to capture some of that enthusiasm again. I don't know how much I'll be online this summer--I'm staying with friends for most of it and I have no idea what their internet situation is like--but I will try to post here as often as possible.

There's a corollary to all of this pondering. I'd like to know what you enjoy seeing here. It's my blog, etc, etc. But the best thing about blogs, in my opinion, is the sense of community they can create. If there's something I've done in the past that you've enjoyed, let me know. If there's something you've been curious about, let me know. It's a two-way street, so to speak.

If I'm not around very much for the next week or so, know that it is not because I don't love you all. I'm leaving this Saturday (it seems so unreal) and I've got finals this week until Friday. And then I'm spending a few days in Boston with a good friend and meeting up with some fabulous folks. SO. A busy few days.

I went into Foyle's today, on Charing Cross Road, looking for books for others. And then I bought Howl's Moving Castle for myself. *weeps* I couldn't help it! I love the new UK cover! It's so much better than any other Howl cover I've ever seen. I mean, the horror that is this or even this or the serious prettiness that is this? If they had any of the new Elizabeth Goudge editions, I would have been completely sunk. I won't buy a book for it's cover, but if I already want a book, a pretty cover will drive me to actually take out my pocket book. I mean, look at this. *drools*

Speaking of drooling, when we went to Cambridge we went inside the Trinity College Library. I was practically a weeping mass when we finished walking through. I WANT IT. And then we stayed for Evensong at King's College Chapel, and yes, it was the boy's choir and incredible. There may have been actual real tears involved.

And then the next day, a friend and I went to Oxford where we happened upon an exhibition in the Bodleian entitled "The British Choral Tradition." They had the original manuscript copy of John Rutter's "The Lord Bless You and Keep You," Handel's conducting score for the Messiah, and the oldest extant copy of Thomas Tallis's "Spem in Alium." I choked up, especially with the Rutter because that's basically my favorite piece of his EVER and at least one of you knows what a nutty Rutter fan I am. I just...yeah. It was incredible.

All of that keeps reminding me, even though I don't want to be reminded, that going back is really going to stink for awhile. I just have this horrible vision of waking up and going, "A new day! What can I do?" and then realizing there really isn't anything except...going to the library again? *sigh* I may be making too much of it, but I think it really will be rough for a bit.

I will be staying in Indiana for part of the summer with my godmother and it looks like I'll be able to go to one of the weddings taking place this summer. Glory to God!

Congratulations if you made it through this very rambly, all over the place entry.

Stratford pictures

My program went to Stratford for Shakespeare's birthday celebrations.


Shakespeare's grave.


Wisteria at Nash's house


Elizabethan knot garden at Nash's house.


Rosemary growing against the railings at Nash's house.


Apple blossoms.


More apple blossoms.


And more apple blossoms.


The garden at Anne Hathaway's cottage.


Apple trees at Anne Hathaway's cottage.


The cottage itself.


Roses growing over the cottage.


Lambs in a field near Anne Hathaway's cottage.


Scenery from the train.

How can I keep from singing?

I've been humming this a lot recently:

My life flows on in endless song
Above earth's lamentation.
I hear the real, though far off hymn
That hails the new creation
Above the tumult and the strife,
I hear the music ringing;
It sounds an echo in my soul
How can I keep from singing?

What though the tempest loudly roars,
I hear the truth, it liveth.
What though the darkness round me close,
Songs in the night it giveth.
No storm can shake my inmost calm
While to that rock I'm clinging.
Since love is lord of Heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?

When tyrants tremble, sick with fear,
And hear their death-knell ringing,
When friends rejoice both far and near,
How can I keep from singing?
In prison cell and dungeon vile
Our thoughts to them are winging.
When friends by shame are undefiled,
How can I keep from singing?

Visiting London, part one

I wrote this for the IDD blog but thought I would share it here. Part two next week.


I've spent the last three months studying in London as part of a program through my university. It's been an amazing experience and I'm so grateful for it. As a sort of natural result I've picked up a few tips for visiting London.

*Use Pret a Manger and E.A.T. These are both chains all around London which sell fresh, pre-made sandwiches. I'm not sure of exact prices at E.A.T., but at Pret you can easily get a fairly filling sandwich for under three pounds. The cheapest is the egg mayo sandwich at a pound fifty. They also have coffee, soup, and a few pastries. TIP: Try to ask for take-away. Restaurants are legally required to charge a special tax if you eat in.

*Go to the museums. London has some fabulous museums, especially the National Gallery, the National Portrait Gallery, and Tate Britian. On the history side, there's the V&A (Victoria and Albert) and the British Museum. There are smaller museums and galleries that you can look up if you're interested. TIP: Go early. British school children are required to visit the major museums so with them and tourists, it can get quite noisy later on. Most galleries open at ten so you won't have to get up at the crack of dawn.

*If there is a musical performance you want to attend and you don't have tickets, go to the box office about 9:00 the day of the performance. Most of the major companies have tickets that are only available on the day. I'm not sure if this is true for plays or not, but the TKTS booths operate under a similar idea. TIP: Wear comfortable shoes.

*If you're in London for any amount of time, you'll probably hit rush hour on the Tube. Be prepared to be squashed up against the person next to you. There's really nothing any of you can do about it. TIP: If there are no handholds available, lean against the wall of the car and plant your feet.

*People in London walk fast. Now, so do I. If you walk more slowly or if you stop in their path, they will just push past you. TIP: If you feel like you simply have to have a photo of X or if you're lost, try to stop at the edge of the sidewalk or Tube platform. Walking fast is an added bonus.